I’m actually afraid for this summer. All my friends like to drink like sailors or whatever because they are sailors but I don’t know if I can keep up anymore!!! I don’t know how many shots of jameo my body can still take!!! I don’t know!!! I just don’t know!!!!
“She said, ‘I’m so afraid.’ And I said, ‘why?,’ and she said, ‘Because I’m so profoundly happy. Happiness like this is frightening.’ I asked her why and she said, ‘They only let you be this happy if they’re preparing to take something from you.’”—Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner (via sexpansion)
-drink wine till 4am, alone in your room watching Youtube videos where Ellen gives stuff away and you cry -drink whiskey till 3am watching dogs reunite with soldiers or movies you used to watch as a kid, sobbing -go on a juice cleanse -go off the juice cleanse, embrace that life is short and eat only burritos for two weeks straight -buy a six-pack of beer on a Tuesday -stop texting all your friends and just feel like it is impossible to talk to anybody -text all your friends and ask them to meet you somewhere, anywhere, dive bar, movies, what are you up to, how have you been? -refuse to think about your life past the stretch of this weekend -find that you can only think about your future like you are a shark and you have to keep swimming forever, but swimming is making more and more money -decide to educate yourself about wine -wonder about learning a new language -daydream 24/7 -buy tights that look like thigh-high socks -wear red lipstick -wear very dark berry lipstick -cut your hair all off/get bangs/try a subtle ombre or simply deep condition -bite your cuticles till you bleed -stare strangely at your blood like it has betrayed you -avoid your mom’s questions like “how are you” and simply tell her about the time you made waffles or risotto for a group of your friends -kiss a stranger, think about kissing a stranger, open up the internet and look for strangers to think about kissing -resolve to save up money -accidentally blow the money on sulfate-free shampoo -continue to blow the money on items for stir fry, sturdier shoes, six books, a subscription to something -get THIS close to booking travel to Thailand, New Orleans, Spain -look up costs of living anywhere but here but mostly in Austin -be snippy -yep, you take up running or yoga or spin to change the easiest parts of yourself (that are honestly the hardest) -refuse to schedule doctor’s appointment,s will yourself to never get hurt again -start taking better care of your skin, except you don’t shower as often -be barefoot often -dream in panic attacks -try to make your bed or pay bills on time or do anything right -look happier on Instagram than anywhere else -whenever somebody asks about jobs you burp and change the subject -decide the only solution is to move somewhere else and buy linen neon scarves and gold rings -decide you’ve missed your calling as food truck nacho fusion creator, makeup artist, hair goddess, photographer, professional hot dog eater, animal whisperer -briefly wonder if you can stay in school forever? -pick up, keep moving, buy garbage bags, be functional, pray for relief