“he could get it” i say about men who aren’t even close to wanting it
BUT REALLY GIMME SOME FILMS WITH HETEROSEXUAL ORAL SEX SO I CAN COMPARE THE MPAA RATINGS TO FILMS WITH HOMOSEXUAL ORAL SEX THANKS XOXO?
Ugh I hate when couples kiss and they make that...
when somebody actually texts me first and wants to hang out
yesterday i had this conversation and i am still so sad he didn’t think i was funny. me: [theorizing how to get people to my house for a party, since he thinks i live deep as fuck in brooklyn]. him: chips. and nacho cheese me: I could trick them with the promise of chips and nacho cheese? him: yeah me: and then only have chips with no cheese when they arrive. My most evil plan ever. Or...
Me: dad what’s for dinner Dad: I’m going downstairs to check now. Me: spoiler alert!! We don’t have anything Dad: :lllllllllllllll
sleepofreason: My Craft Design prof pissed me off today. He told me not to use silver because I don’t know what I am doing and I am basically ruining it. I AM MAKING A RING ANY OTHER METAL AVAILABLE TO ME WILL MAKE MY FINGER GREEN. And he kept going back and forth between using silver and a different metal, which would actually cost more because I would have to buy more of it to get a small...
NOW I’M TEARING UP JUST THINKING ABOUT DR. GREEN DYING. i will not watch that episode today i can’t i don’t wanna cryyy.
it’s cool don’t text me back it’s cool yeah bro whatever. chill and stuff
Emily and I biked 10 miles NBD. B-)
Girl: do a lot of people like beyonce in new York? Madi: a lot of people like beyonce in THE WORLD
JFC My friend has been mocking me saying I am in the past since I’m in San Diego and he is in the future back home in nyc so this morning I texted him and said You’re from the future? Well that’s brilliant! Do they still have sandwiches there? And I don’t think he gets it AND I CAN’T ASK BECAUSE IT WILL RUIN THE JOKE And I Know he has seen the new not new anymore star trek...
emily: it combines two things you like! me: omg bikes and whiskey! emily: no, boats and beer!
Now that I can finally understand you, I am less impressed with what you have to...– Don Draper
wellalright: whenever i’m watching tv and someone’s so obviously using a macbook, but i guess the prop guys put a sticker or a circle or something over the apple logo i can’t help but be like, “oh come on.” like i know it’s some legal thing, but really? we’re all just gonna pretend?
LOL OMG LMFAO OMG. MY DAD’S GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING BAD ABOUT SOME WOMAN FOR BEING WITH A MAN WHO WAS ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP. OMG. LMFAO I CAN’T. SOMEONE HOLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!! HELP. I AM DYING.
WOW so i googled something someone told me cuz i thought they were quoting something they aren’t quoting the first google result is one direction fantasies
I'M HILARIOUS AND IT'S NOT BEING APPRECIATED.
AT LIKE 3:00: me: try to find a job you like more? him: lolololololol me: ~aim for the moon because if you miss you’ll still land among the stars~
A girl in my music class tried to convince me that the beatles didn’t do drugs. Lol!
I need real help. If my flight leaves at 545am what time should I arrive at the airport?
I am very conflicted about bed time.
sade: on one hand - being super tired and laying down in a comfy bed is a great feeling. on the other - unlimited, quiet, alone time to reflect upon all the worst aspects of my life is not a great feeling. scumbag brain.